I dedicate this post to my miso soup buddy, Georgina. 
It was just past midnight when my black lab began to growl. Half asleep, I rolled over in bed, shushed her with a pat on the head, and proceeded to try and drift off. Five minutes later, Belle growled again. The rumbling sound vibrated my bed and stifled the heavy night winds. Before I could even try and calm her down, she jumped to the floor in a mess of long legs. In her two years of life, Belle has never barked so loud and with such intensity.
The house was dark, and besides Belle’s howling and the drifting whispers of the wind, it was quiet. My parents were vacationing in Mexico, so it was just my two younger siblings and me. Belle’s barking was beyond alarming – she only “speaks” when senses a stranger near by. Because of this, I had the sudden urge to run screaming out of my house, sprint straight to the Mexican border and find my parents. I was willing to risk exposure to the Swine Flu! Anything but face the frightful mean invader of my home sanctuary!
I crawled out of my bed, cursing my first floor bedroom and the oh-so terrible danger it put me in. I tripped over my combat boots and in the last moment decided to slip them on. If need be, I could KICK the robber in the nose, down under, the knees, and the TOES. I was determined to save my dear brother and sister, as well as my own precious life.
Meanwhile, Belle was whimpering in between barks, pushing at my bedroom door and begging to be released so she could attack. I nodded. We were ready. Ready to fight and protect! To kick some ass, you could say.
“One… Two…” I whispered, holding the cold door knob. “THREE!”
I opened the door and Belle darted out into the hallway, sniffing and searching for any sign of true physical evidence. Cowardly and drugged on Benadryl, I wandered out of my bedroom at a slower and more timid pace.
“Madeline?” I called. “Grant? HELLO, ARE YOU GUYS ALIVE?!”
I wander over to the staircase, grasping the banister and swaying with the shadows from the front large windows. There was a light on in my sister’s room, so I yelled again, “Madeline! Maddie! Hellooooooooo! Madds!?!?!”
“What?!” She snapped, popping her head out of her room from upstairs.
“Oh, good. You’re alive.” I sighed. “Where’’s Grant?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. Bed.”
“Okay. Thank goodness. Belle was just… freaking out… It’’s all okay, though!” I insisted to myself.
After checking the bolted lock on the front door and deciding that Belle agreed the house was in control, I wandered back to my bedroom. As I turned the corner and into my pitch black hallway, the man grabbed me by the shoulder and yelled, “AHRAAAHGGGGHH!!”
I cried out in agony, falling backwards into the kitchen as my heart was thrown out of my chest. Sobbing and holding onto an also frightened Belle, I screamed some more. “I’VE ALREADY CALLED 911 DON’T YOU DARE TRY ANYTHING! AHHHGERAWAWWWW! RUN MADELINE, RUN!”
“I so got you!” Grant cheered with a dance, stepping into the light of the kitchen.
I held my chest and ninja kicked the air in front of him. “Just because your now taller and sneakier than me does NOT mean you can attack me in the middle of the night! MEAN MEAN BOY!”
“I scared Heather! I scared Heather!” He sang.
“I thought I was going to DIE!” I screamed, stomping past him and into my room. “You will pay! Just you wait! Years from now… You will pay!”
This occurred two nights ago and I’m tragically STILL shaking from the incident. Obviously I’m a very jumpy person. So… Anyone have any ideas as to how to get back at my 13-year-old brother?