It’s September. The month of school, Santa Ana winds, an abundance of coffee, and wildfires. Outside the air is gray, murky, and toxic. It’s not clouds sitting above my head but a thick layer of smoke. They say southern California is paradise, but is it really a trap? The vain and the rich get the pleasure of watching their world burn up every year. Oh, yes, it sounds like a fabulous life to me.

Life is kind of fast. It’s kind of absurd, too.
In a week I’ve concluded that:

• I’m moving to Colorado Springs this January.
• Yes, COLORADO SPRINGS! Finally.
• Until then, I’ll be working at Comic Quest, the comic bookstore I slaved at when I was fifteen. I’m thrilled to be employed there again.
• I WILL be published someday. I don’t care how long it takes, what it takes, or how many No’s I’ll have to read. It’s not something I’m ever going to back down on.
• I don’t care what people say, revisions are extremely fun. I enjoy them almost as much as the actual writing process.
• I’M MOVING TO COLORADO SPRINGS!
• I’m going to major in psychology, though it make take me ten years to actually get my Bachelor’s. Whatever.
• No. I still haven’t heard back from The Agent. I welcome any response: “Yes.” “No.” “You suck.” “I love Vincent!” “Learn to spell.” I just want an answer. Preferably an answer with, “You’re magnificent, Heather. Be my client and lets make pretty hardbacks.” But you know, beggars can’t be choosers.
• The idea of driving in the snow is absurdly terrifying. I hardly know how to drive in the rain!
• Hi. I’m going to be living in Colorado soon.

I miss conversing through comments with my affiliates. Being a writer hermit in a cave has its perks, but it also has its fall backs. I miss my friend’s blogs! Can I not have it all? Sleep is such a waste of time. I should invest in drinking more then my usual 5 mugs of coffee a day. Coffee is so good for the soul. I think I’d parish without coffee.

Keep your thoughts on southern California (specifically LA right now), friends. Fire Season has just begun, the Santa Ana’s haven’t even started, and we have a long autumn a head of us. I’m safe. I plan to hide under my dining room table with my laptop and write. The toxic smoke infused air can’t touch me here!

I mentioned I’m moving to Colorado, right?

Okay, back to AFOT and yummy Hayden Mason!

As of a few hours ago, I’m eighteen years old. Happy birthday to me, right? I’m pleasantly content and honestly kind of out of it. Really just feeling blessed right now. So far this epic (primarily northern) California road trip has been lovely. I always forget how incredible this state is. I must say, I’m without a doubt a northern girl. I prefer the redwoods, rain, foggy beaches, and green scenery over the southern tropical brown heat any day.

I’ve been soaking up every moment of this trip, primarily in the wonderful Humboldt County. This place has a sketchy reputation (thanks to marijuana farming), but it’s so laid back and remarkably beautiful here. The ideal spot for me to spend my last few days of being seventeen!

Today we’re heading 200 miles south to San Francisco. The Bay Area! YES. My old home. It shall be a wonderful birthday indeed. I won’t be back in Orange County until Wednesday, and then Thursday I head even further north to Seattle! It seems my birthday celebrations will extend all through August.

I’d love to get deep and really dive into my thoughts in terms of my new age, but I must pass out so I have some energy to wander San Francisco later today. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to grab a few minutes of spare time to write more, but until then, a few visuals for everyone:

Enjoy your week!

This is a quick post. Basically, just a hello and a good bye! For the next twelve days I’ll be traveling up and around California – hitting up the Yosemite, the American Fork River (hello river rafting), Napa Valley, the Redwood Forest and Humboldt County, San Francisco (hello old home!), Big Sur, and lastly, San Louis Obispo.

Will we survive 12 days straight together?

During this time I’ll be turning eighteen (August 9th), so be sure to send me some happy birthday vibes! Most likely, I won’t be posting again until I return from the road and before I depart for the skies (aka Seattle). I hope everyone has a beautiful start to their August!

Ironically enough, my health issues flared up the day after I returned home and in result I’ve been taking it easy. I’m not exactly certain what’s going on with my body, but I’m crossing my fingers that this is just a random rough few days. I won’t be able to get my blood work tested until August 21st, so lets hope things don’t get worse. Meanwhile, I’m happily continuing through my A FEAR OF TEARS revision.

I have an insanely busy month ahead filled with traveling (a long road trip up the coast of California followed by a week in Seattle) and writing. Combined with my recent decrease in health, I’m thinking blogging may become a bit more random. I also turn 18 on the 9th of August while in Eureka, CA. So, that will be… neat.

Basically, expect random, quick, and photo heavy entries until September, if anything. I hope everyone enjoys the remainder of their summer!

I’m feeling significantly better today. Still a bit queasy and off, but oh so healthy and alive. Is it weird that I’m often grateful for illness? Because once I recover and feel better, I find I have so much more gratitude for my life and health. I wrote an entry a few weeks ago (yes, it’s one of the lost blogs) about my numerous blood disorders, and I remember I had such difficulty writing it. I felt like I was complaining. I was sure I sounded selfish… because truly, I’m blessed.

I have a body that can walk (and sometimes run!), lift, stretch, and breathe. My body does so much work for me. It never gives up, never lets me down. Sure, it has its flaws… but look at me, I’m still alive. I guess after a week of being confined to my bed, I’m feeling grateful today.

Anyway, a good friend of mine is flying in from Canada tomorrow (well, technically Utah, but whatever). I haven’t seen Dalia since last March, so I’m beyond thrilled for her visit. It’s funny. She saw my temporary home of the Bay Area and now she’ll be seeing my childhood home of Orange County.

While I’m definitely not as proud as Southern CA as I am of Northern CA, I’m still excited to share it with her. It’ll also be fun to bring a Canadian along for my Independence Day celebrations!

Have a beautiful day everyone!

If anything, this was a blessing. Since coming back to Berkeley I’ve been able to appreciate it even more. The little things. The big things. The shock of having to leave in just a few week has given me the ability to enjoy each day in a new way. At the same time, I’m antsy. Skittish, maybe. I’m at this point of my life where I don’t know what to expect. Three months from now I have no clue where I’ll be, but I suppose that is a good thing.

Whatever the case, everything is crazy. It’s hard for me realize that my time here is ending. Did I not just move in? Time is such a ridiculous concept, but it’s beautiful.

ANYHOW, I was tagged by Shola to do a meme! Yay!

What’s your real name? Heather Ezell.
Are you sad? Not in this moment.
Who is your best friend? Fayie.
What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?Drank a glass of water.
Whatís the last movie you saw? Lost in Translation.
Are you a friendly person? I think so.
What song are you listening to right now? Giri Song by Trevor Hall.
When was the last time you cried? This morning.
Have you ever broken somebody’s heart? Supposedly.
When you had your first kiss? Fourteen. It was lovely.
Do you wish upon stars? Maybe.
What can make you happy in this moment? My gratitude.
Do you drink or smoke? No.
Where did you sleep last night?In my loft.
Where is the last place you went? Farmer’s market.
Answered the truth on all questions? Yes.

The senile winds combined with a lack of rain and endless amounts of brown, brittle land has resulted in many brush fires to alight across southern California. Once again.

The closest fire to my own home is luckily, a 20 minute drive away (last year’s was a mere ten). So I am safe. My only personal concern is the great deal of brush and (dead, dry) national forest surrounding my house. I’m living in the middle of a field awaiting a fire. One match and BAM. But I’m not thinking of that. Positive thoughts bring positive actions.

In all honesty though, my thoughts are only on those effected by the current blazes.

I pray for the families victimized by the raging fires, the many souls who have lost their homes. God bless this land, this community. Every year it seems another part of it goes up in flames.

California needs more rain, and less heat.

90 degrees in late November? So NOT okay.

It’s so boring.

There is one exception to our weather though – the exception that caused the great fires that stretched from San Diego to Malibu last year, that threw my family’s trampoline over the backyard fence and into the neighbor’’s yard, and keeps me tossing and turning at night.

The Santa Ana Winds. They roar and dance through Southern California’s hills and valley’s with no mercy. They kick trees to the ground and toss trash through the street. They spark wild brush fires that destroy beautiful land and homes. The winds will cause your skin to peel and your hair to become brittle, but despite all the shortcomings, I must admit, I love the Santa Ana Winds.

I believe the winds are innocent. Late fall is their one time to shine, their one time to let loose and cause havoc. Through January until October, these winds are silenced – shut down to mere whispers of ocean breeze.

So it’s only natural that come October, they let loose all their steam.

There is something absurdly mystical and elating about the screams of the winds. It’s a sensation that has my fingers punching my keyboard, drawing up plot twists like my life depends on it. When the Santa Ana Winds begin their siren, it feels as if anything can occur.

In this moment, my window is shaking in its frame. My head is heavy from having trees slam across my window all through the night. My eyes burn from the dry scattering air. But in this moment, I feel absolutely alive.

Now, this doesn’t mean that a month from now, when the winds are still screaming their song, that I’ll still be all loveydoveyooohhhahhh. When Christmas morning comes around, and I wake up to the trampoline in the neighbor’s yard AGAIN, I’m sure I’ll be quite… tired of the wind’s playfulness.

Nothing lasts forever, you know – love for destructive winds included.