The Brother Strikes Again.

May 25th, 2009

Flinging my still-damp hair out of my eyes and zipping my hoodie up to my chin, I bolted out of my car to the front door before any of my neighbors could catch a glance at ridiculous appearance. Maddie had called from a friend’s house that morning, insisting that I picked her up ASAP. I’d just jumped out of the shower, and being the oh-so gracious older sister I am, I threw on the first dress I saw and left instantly.

Now, Madeline stood by the front door, arms folded against her chest and her face twisted in irritation. “Heather, the door’’s locked.”
I froze. “What?”
“Did you forget to turn off the fire-lock when you left the house?” She rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t even know the fire-lock was on!” I said, following her as she made her way to the garage and punched in the code. As the garage door rolled open, I shook my head. “Um, this way won”t work. All the doors are locked.”
“What do you mean all the doors are locked? We never lock any of the side doors! We never even lock the front door!” Madeline said, eyes wide.
I lock the doors! Especially with just Grant and I home… I wanted us to be SAFE!”
She shook her head. “So, we’re locked out, and Grant’s probably still asleep…”
We both froze at the realization that our getting inside rested in the hands of our sneaky and evil little thirteen-year-old brother. Stepping out of the garage, we looked up at his bedroom window. The shutters were closed shut.

“GRANT!” I screamed. “GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT! We’re locked out! LET US IN!”
The shutters remained shut. Muttering under my breath, I pulled my giant coin-filled wallet out of my bag. The first time I chucked it, the wallet merely hit the top of the garage. The second time it hit his window with a loud bang, and then landed on the window sill.

“Brilliant, Heather.” Maddie chuckled. “Real brilliant.”
“Oh, no…” I said, eyes wide, as the shutters slowly flipped open.

Then, still hiding his face from view, Grant slid the window up. Much to my horror, his long arm gradually snuck out from his room and snatched my wallet from the sill. And then, in one quick second, the window slammed down and the shutters shut.

“GRAAAAAAAAAAANT!” I bellowed, ignoring the glares from the two plastic OC women walking past my house. “If you take anything out of my wallet, you WILL be in MASSIVE TROUBLE!”
Hands on her hips, Maddie sighed. “Now what?”
“Um,” I paused. “Well, um… Fine! We’re going to STARBUCKS, Grant! Without you! BYE!”

Madeline and I ran back into the car, speeding to the little Albertson’s Starbucks. After moaning about our bedhead appearances and finding a bit of change in the glove department, we rushed inside. We returned to the car with three drinks. I was certain that a mocha frappuccino would earn our way back into the house.

It did, eventually. After waving the frothy cup up at the window and then making a show of Madeline pretending to drink it, he rushed down the stairs and threw open the front door. Despite his attempts to grab the drink and keep us outside, I managed to push my way in. Oh, yes, so sweet it was to be back inside.

Granty, Granty,” I drew in a sip of my hot black coffee, my eyes sharp on Grant’s. “Oh, dear little boy, how foolish you are. After the whole scare-Heather fest, I was going to go easy on you… But now… Oh, goodness… Now, I will revenge. BIG TIME, MISTER!”"
He laughed, dancing with his frappuccino. “Ha, whatever.” And then he skipped away, as I laughed my evil laugh.

Under: , — @ 2:56 pm


On a Windy Frightful Night…

May 23rd, 2009

I dedicate this post to my miso soup buddy, Georgina. ;)

It was just past midnight when my black lab began to growl. Half asleep, I rolled over in bed, shushed her with a pat on the head, and proceeded to try and drift off. Five minutes later, Belle growled again. The rumbling sound vibrated my bed and stifled the heavy night winds. Before I could even try and calm her down, she jumped to the floor in a mess of long legs. In her two years of life, Belle has never barked so loud and with such intensity.

The house was dark, and besides Belle’s howling and the drifting whispers of the wind, it was quiet. My parents were vacationing in Mexico, so it was just my two younger siblings and me. Belle’s barking was beyond alarming – she only “speaks” when senses a stranger near by. Because of this, I had the sudden urge to run screaming out of my house, sprint straight to the Mexican border and find my parents. I was willing to risk exposure to the Swine Flu! Anything but face the frightful mean invader of my home sanctuary!

I crawled out of my bed, cursing my first floor bedroom and the oh-so terrible danger it put me in. I tripped over my combat boots and in the last moment decided to slip them on. If need be, I could KICK the robber in the nose, down under, the knees, and the TOES. I was determined to save my dear brother and sister, as well as my own precious life.

Meanwhile, Belle was whimpering in between barks, pushing at my bedroom door and begging to be released so she could attack. I nodded. We were ready. Ready to fight and protect! To kick some ass, you could say.

“One… Two…” I whispered, holding the cold door knob. “THREE!”

I opened the door and Belle darted out into the hallway, sniffing and searching for any sign of true physical evidence. Cowardly and drugged on Benadryl, I wandered out of my bedroom at a slower and more timid pace.

“Madeline?” I called. “Grant? HELLO, ARE YOU GUYS ALIVE?!”

I wander over to the staircase, grasping the banister and swaying with the shadows from the front large windows. There was a light on in my sister’s room, so I yelled again, “Madeline! Maddie! Hellooooooooo! Madds!?!?!”
“What?!” She snapped, popping her head out of her room from upstairs.
“Oh, good. You’re alive.” I sighed. “Where’’s Grant?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. Bed.”
“Okay. Thank goodness. Belle was just… freaking out… It’’s all okay, though!” I insisted to myself.

After checking the bolted lock on the front door and deciding that Belle agreed the house was in control, I wandered back to my bedroom. As I turned the corner and into my pitch black hallway, the man grabbed me by the shoulder and yelled, “AHRAAAHGGGGHH!!”

I cried out in agony, falling backwards into the kitchen as my heart was thrown out of my chest. Sobbing and holding onto an also frightened Belle, I screamed some more. “I’VE ALREADY CALLED 911 DON’T YOU DARE TRY ANYTHING! AHHHGERAWAWWWW! RUN MADELINE, RUN!”

“I so got you!” Grant cheered with a dance, stepping into the light of the kitchen.
I held my chest and ninja kicked the air in front of him. “Just because your now taller and sneakier than me does NOT mean you can attack me in the middle of the night! MEAN MEAN BOY!”
“I scared Heather! I scared Heather!” He sang.
“I thought I was going to DIE!” I screamed, stomping past him and into my room. “You will pay! Just you wait! Years from now… You will pay!”

This occurred two nights ago and I’m tragically STILL shaking from the incident. Obviously I’m a very jumpy person. So… Anyone have any ideas as to how to get back at my 13-year-old brother? ;)

Under: , , — @ 5:01 am


Sundance Film Festival.

January 21st, 2009

Ironically enough, the weekend after my last post, The Mormon Take Over, I was shipped off to Utah. Only not for the purpose of converting me into an active Mormon again, but to attend the Sundance Film Festival and see my dear grandparents!

The festival was fantastic. The streets of Park City transformed into a snowy Hollywood village – my old home had invaded. There was glitz, there was glam, there was freezing temperatures of 15 degrees, and there were some powerful movies.

I saw the screenings of Where is Where?, The Carter, Adam, The Works of Maria Marshall, and Adventureland. I’d go into greater depth and give my full reviews, but alas, I have four hours worth of essay writing due tomorrow morning…

On another note, it was lovely to see my relatives again and wonderful (but ridiculously overwhelming) to see my family. Overall though, I’m so happy to be home in Berkeley.

…Despite the fact that I have a class tomorrow, work, errands to run, laundry to wash, essays to write, and a book to edit. Oh, the joys of reality!

Under: , , — @ 10:19 pm


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The Writer
Nineteen year old unpublished author. California native. Victim of extreme wander lust. Avid reader. Lover of rain, mountains, and moody oceans. A firm believer that a day is not productive without hours of writing involved. The girl who dances alone in corners.

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