Hello & Goodbye.

July 31st, 2009

Thanks to everyone for the kind words in response to the last blog. I’m happy to report that I’m feeling infinitely better. The damn salmonella poisoning is on its way to fully departing my body! This past week has reminded me of my gratitude for modern medicine.

This is a quick post. Basically, just a hello and a good bye! For the next twelve days I’ll be traveling up and around California – hitting up the Yosemite, the American Fork River (hello river rafting), Napa Valley, the Redwood Forest and Humboldt County, San Francisco (hello old home!), Big Sur, and lastly, San Louis Obispo.

Will we survive 12 days straight together?

During this time I’ll be turning eighteen (August 9th), so be sure to send me some happy birthday vibes! Most likely, I won’t be posting again until I return from the road and before I depart for the skies (aka Seattle). I hope everyone has a beautiful start to their August!

Under: California, family, gratitude, health, photo, travel — @ 10:40 am

Comments (11)

Salmonella & High Spirits.

July 26th, 2009

Happy Sunday friends!

Well, last Thursday I received a few answers in regards to my poor health. If you follow me on Twitter, then you most likely already know that I somehow or another managed to develop salmonella poisoning. Yes, SALMONELLA POISONING! The thing you typically get from eating raw eggs and meat? The thing that SIX HUNDRED US citizens die annually from? The thing that usually departs your body in 4 to 7 days, if it hasn’t crippled you to a hospital bed?

A few thoughts for everyone:

I’ve been a solid vegan for 2 years.
I don’t have a spleen and I suffer from an immune deficiency disorder, as well as four other blood disorders. This leaves my body very undefended in terms of illness.
My doctor estimates that I’ve had this salmonella poisoning for SEVERAL MONTHS now. My body didn’t have the tools to fight it off alone, so it’s just been… sitting in me. It’s incredible that I’m not dead, really.

No wonder I’ve been feeling horrid lately!

To top this all off, I also learned that I have a severe intolerance to chocolate. CHOCOLATE! My ultimate favorite food. There is nothing more brilliant then a tiny piece of 80% dark chocolate after several hours of rigorous, yet blissful writing. I grew up on chocolate milk, every day, sometimes 3 times a day. Chocolate. I’m intolerant to chocolate. Really? REALLY, BODY?!

Yes, I’m intolerant to chocolate, as well as about a hundred other foods. I now have another new medical term to add to my list! Intestinal Permeability. Basically, my gut is ridiculously and tragically sensitive. I’m practically intolerant to everything, really. It’s very likely I did this to myself, that this yet another lovely after effect of Anorexia. I’m trying to not think about this. I’m just going to push forward, eat what feels best for my tummy, and hope that I eventually regain my body’s trust again.

My name is Heather Ezell and I’ve been chocolate free for 3 days. Please comfort me during this tragic time.

I’m still waiting to hear back from other tests, the more important tests, actually. Blood work. Yes, we now are worried something new is occurring with my blood. I’m praying everything will turn out normal (normal for me, that is), but I won’t get any answers until late August…

Until then, I’m enjoying my life and not fretting over silly things like food sensitivities and salmonella poisoning (which I’m now on intensive medication for). Both have been caught and now I can only move on. While I could morn my new dietary restrictions and last six months of sickening health, it simply DOES NOT matter and there is no point in obsessing over it.

What matters?

Spending time with my family and friends, the fact that my body has managed to put up with all of this turmoil, writing to my heart’s desire, being in the moment, traveling and learning from new sights, and honestly, being optimistic. I know personally that life is too fragile and short to let the small things break you down.

Enjoy your week, friends! Take a moment and dedicate it to something extraordinarily simple and special in your life, perhaps something you’re taking for granted. Cheers for good health!

Under: gratitude, happiness, health, life — @ 11:15 am

Comments (10)

Fighting the Blues.

July 9th, 2009

It’s another Thursday. Happy thankful Thursday. Yay! Right?

I don’t remember who made this comment, but a while back a friend of mine mentioned that my blog posts are consistently upbeat and hopeful. She asked me if I ever feel down, if I ever just break down and fall…

My answer? By the hour.

I recently wrote about this in my private LiveJournal, but I’m an emotional wreck. I don’t mean this in a negative way, nor do I mean it in a positive way. Quite simply, my mood plummets and flies at the speed of light. Ask my family. One moment, I’ll be giddy with elation and in the next I’ll be in a lonely corner with death on my shoulders. I have days where even my closest friends and the darkest of chocolates can’t break my case of the blues. And you know what? That’s okay.

I’m human.

Today has been a rough one. Nothing tangible happened, but for unexplainable reasons, my heart is heavy and my mood is low. I wrote, practiced yoga, talked with a good friend for over an hour, meditated on my highly anticipated Ohio trip next week, and even made vegan rice krispie treats… Yet I’m still hurting.

So, in case any one else is wondering if I ever struggle to stay strong and on top of depression: Yes. Yes, I do… But I get by. I grasp onto the knowledge that the hopelessness I’m feeling will eventually pass and that maybe my next moment will be brighter. Because, and this is something I know, there is always happiness ahead.

It is this touch of wisdom that I’m thankful for today.

“For the warrior, the experience of the sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness.”
~Chögyam Trungpa

Under: depression, gratitude, life, rambling, vegan — @ 8:02 pm

Comments (12)

Older Posts »