Monthly.

December 11th, 2009

It’s raining today. Outside the air is lost in the heavy weight of coastal fog. The sky broken and gray, bruised from yesterday. December is fleeting. The onslaught of holiday festivities and laced up boots press down on the fast forward button of the day. In another blink I’ll be residing in Colorado Springs. I’ve already signed the lease and received my brass key.

I’ve made a decision. I’m officially a Monthly Blogger. Updating by the month is what is most intuitively right for me at this time. I’ll probably bump up the blogging again after I’m settled from my move, but right now I’m focusing on FIY revision #2 and enjoying my last weeks in soggy southern California with my family.

Writing is always such a learning experience. Every draft is different, every revision an entirely new process, like hiking in the mountains for the first time. My mind is a lot more soothed and steady since I last blogged. Remember? I wasn’t working on FIY, only writing prose and poetry. I wasn’t blocked. I simply wasn’t ready to dip into the revision. It took another week of scribbling in my mole skinned journal before I was. But then the gun went off and the mad frenzy began.

Now I’ve combined the two: my novel writing and the tilted “mind’s dribble” (as dear Shola called it.) Breathing is such an easier task when I’m the midst of a revision. Life is good. I don’t snap at my family as much, and that is always a beautiful thing. The occasional rain is also very calming to me. I’m not a sun girl. I like wearing layers, seeing my breath when I walk outside, and hearing the curse of winter’s wind. Storms are realer, so raw, compared to blue skies and happy weather.

The next time I blog I’ll be writing from Colorado. I hope everyone has a lovely holiday! Stay warm. Drink lots of tea and gingerbread coffee, spend sometime with your family. Hug a tree.

I’ll leave you with a quote. In all honesty, autumn was rather rough and jagged. But this quote reminded me that it’s okay. It’s all a part of the grand journey. I made it through the different pains and I’ll make it through whatever else in store for me.

“When we can accept all of life’s contradictions, when we can comfortably flow between the banks of pleasure and pain, experiencing them both and getting caught in neither, then we are free.” – Deepak Chopra

Until next time.

Under: life, weather, writing — @ 10:19 am

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A Few Thoughts.

November 8th, 2009

Life is moving. Spinning. Days pass quickly. It’s November. November. I’ve returned from a week long Colorado trip. I found my future home – a beautiful condo on the westside of town, on the base of Pikes Peak. The move is REALLY going to happen. On the first Sunday of January, I shall depart in my car for the Rockies. It’s so odd to realize this.

As always, I’ve been writing, but not in the typical Heather Way. I’m writing poetry and lyrical passages of nothing. I’m writing a lot of odd types of artistic things, work I don’t usually do. I’ve never been one for poetry, but that has become my muse. Long paragraphs of eloquent meaningless whining. I’m proud of the writing, but they’re not novels. And therefore in my head not truly productive. I’m in between revisions. I SHOULD be working on FIY, but instead my mind is spinning with these silly fragmented passages. Poetry of sorts, but not really. I’m no poet.

And yeah, I totally just made a huge deal about being a “novelist” back in August, and not wanting to write anything but novels, but gosh, these days my creativity has just tilted. I’m not complaining. I welcome the change. Though I do need to work on the FIY Revision #2. Perhaps the ball will get rolling again once I receive my professional “notes”. No, I still have not heard from the Important Person, but I’m oddly calm about it. She’ll email whenever she emails, and you know, until then I’ll continue to work and cultivate my craft.

I got a new tattoo this weekend!

The four leaf clover was done in July 2008, when I was sixteen. I had to go to Vegas for it, but I’m so glad I did. It’s a long story, but the clover symbolizes recovery. It’s a marking of my strength, my healing, my recovery. The nod to my Irish roots and extra luck is just a bonus. The lotus is fresh and new, just scarred on this Friday. It symbolizes purity, the growth of my spirituality, and finding that spark of connection within myself.

Anyway. I’m absurdly pleased with how it turned out.

Mallory requested a photo of my new glasses. So, this photo is dedicated to her! Yeah. Not really a picture of my glasses specifically, but I’m really not a fan of close up face photos.

I’m off to bake some spelt cranberry vegan cookies for my older sister and then perhaps practice some yoga. Have a lovely week!

Under: Colorado, life, photo, writing — @ 11:39 am

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I Won’t Apologize.

October 19th, 2009

I think it’s time to face the facts. I’m a terrible blogger. Horrible. If there was an award for Worst Blogger of All Time, my name would be engraved on it. The saddest part of my slacking? I really have no excuse.

Okay, so, yeah. I have a FEW excuses. I’ve been incredibly absorbed in my A FEAR OF TEARS revision. So absorbed that I finished two weeks before my deadline (I’m wrapping up the copy edits now). And alright, my house has been kind of crazy. We’ve had guests staying for days at a time, I got new glasses, my twenty-one year old sister has been making more (highly welcomed!) appearances, the dogs are on crack, my younger brother (14) and sister (15) are as crazy as ever, it’s been cloudy, it’s been sunny, I was deathly ill for three days but found recovery…

See? A plethora of excuses.

But really… REALLY… I could have easily updated this poor dusty site amidst all the “turmoil”. And honestly, when is life not hectic? When are we not scrambling to stretch every last second of every last day? I guess the truth is that blogging has fallen beneath all of my real greater priorities.

Such as the AFOT revision, which I finished and am truly so proud of, or spending time with my family before I move 1000 miles away this January, and taking care of my body, or just simply enjoying the day I’m experiencing. Hell! If skimping out on blogging means a happier, more content life, then I’m going to skimp like a PRO. Because seriously, it’s been a beautiful month. And that’s what matters. Enjoying what I have, what I did do, rather then focusing on the things I didn’t. Like, er, blogging. Or making those appointments to see my hematologist and orthopedic and remembering to take all my damn medication.

Life isn’t about the endless lists of setbacks and forgotten To Do lists. It’s about the smiles we find within all of those cloudy (or in my typical case, hot) blistered days.

From the Montage at Laguna Beach, California – Featured in AFOT.

Anyhow, like I said I finished the A FEAR OF TEARS revision. I’m so pleased with my work. I finally can recognize that I have grown as a writer. I’m not sure what will happen with the manuscript – if it’ll finally be picked up, or if another revision will be needed, or if it’ll simply grow moldy in the back of my closet – but I’m proud of it. I know that I put my soul into the book, and that means so much to me.

Now I’m trying to figure out what direction I’m headed next in terms of writing. I believe a FALLING INTO YESTERDAY revision is in my near future, but I don’t want to start that until I receive my highly awaited “notes” from a Very Important Person. So, until then, I think I’ll read through the manuscript and let my mind brew. I need to figure out the sequel and clear a few questions up.

From the Montage at Laguna Beach, California – Featured in AFOT.

Whatever the case, life is good. I hope everyone has enjoyed their autumn so far! What are you all doing for Halloween? I MAY document my night, but we’ll see. All I have to say is that I’ll surely be rocking my wings.

Under: happiness, home, life, photo, rambling, writing — @ 7:21 pm

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